We take Maria to college tomorrow. All week, I’ve been posting links to songs that speak to me in this moment of transition and change for all of us. Here’s another, very personal one.
Many years ago, I wrote a song for Maria. It was recorded and released years ago. But I put down a live version, just yesterday.
It’s a song that was inspired by this very moment here…
I’ve said for years that it seems to me Mothers are made, step-by-step, moment-by-moment of those nine months. Mothers cannot help but know and understand that something big is happening to them and to their life. Unlike Fathers, who can go off to work and kind of forget that a baby is on the way, Mothers are physically reminded of the changes in every moment.
Fathers are made all at once. They are made in that moment when the baby arrives, takes its first breath, and suddenly a Father knows they are also a part of that physical experience of having a child. There’s a huge sense of immediate connection and powerful love.
At least, that’s how it happened for me. (And I’ve heard many other Fathers describe a similar experience…)
Suddenly, and surprisingly –in those first moments you see pictured here– there were whole new rooms in my heart I had never known were there before. Big huge spaces where big huge love roared in. Wide open spaces that invited me to live in to them…to lean into them. Places that are now not new, but comfortable and familiar, with the experience of eighteen years of life.
I love being Maria’s Dad. I’m so ridiculously proud of who she is and who she is yet to become.
I love the fact that these rooms just keep getting bigger all the time.
And I know that even in this time of change, there are new rooms still to be found.
And I’m grateful for that too.